where i when wrong

 i need to write this down

 where i went wrong... i gave a shit what others thought, that's where i went wrong.  i tried to bridge a gap, i wanted to use art to connect with others, be social, so i watered down my ideas, my language, to be more understandable and to fit in. i tried to explain too much. i compromised, and i was miserable for it, and was still misunderstood and all alone

my art was often called crazy, not always in a bad way, but that label, crazy, hit me personally.  its not anyone's fault, but i didn't want to hear it anymore.  it triggered me for personal reasons, again, no ones fault.

i fucked around too long in the wrong world, i wondered into suburbia without straypaint... never again.  i'm only making art for myself and all else can fuck off

also, i lost perspective, became fanatic over an experement that crashed, focused on the finger and forgot about the moon.  i tried to make literal music literally.  i tried to make the poem on the page more like sheet music, and trying to craft to make better sheet music i forgot about the music.  when actually spoken and recorded it just didn't work.  it sounded like captain kirk reading mad libs while sitting on the toilet. 

and there's more but, no point, it's clear that writtn word is again, the wrong world.

no worries, start over.  i know spoken word and real music works, like this classic buttholes tune from my youth.  i love this song

and that is where i went wrong